February 2017 – Between Families Newsletter

Encouragement Needed!

Newsletter – Like all children, your foster child wants to feel like he not only belongs to your family, but that he plays an important role in your household.  If your foster child does not believe that he contributes in a meaningful way in your home, he may seek someplace else to do so.  This “someplace else” may not be the place where you want your child to be associated with.  Thus, it is vital that you encourage good behavior in your home. Find your foster child doing something well, and notice him for it.  Tell him that you appreciate what he has done, thanking him for it.  This can be as simple as cleaning up a room, taking the garbage out, playing quietly in a room, completing homework, hanging up a bath towel, or a number of small details that normally may go unnoticed.  No matter how small the action is, it is essential to your foster child’s well being that he feels recognized and that his actions are significant.

MoreTips…

– Communicate effectively. Use and develop communication skills needed to foster or adopt. Be an active listener, give clear messages, listen well and use tone of voice well. Abused and neglected children may feel worthless and may think their emotions are not worthy of being heard. Foster parents must listen in order to help build positive self-esteem.

-Reach out to birth parents. Tell birth parents what wonderful children they have. Even if you believe the children should not go back home, you can still send pictures, talk to the parents, and listen to them.

-Talk with your foster children often about sex, and be specific. For many of these children, your talks with them may be the first time they have had this discussion. If they have been sexually abused, they will need to have counseling, as well.

-When enrolling your foster child into a new school, deliver information to school counselor and administrators about discipline/learning disabilities. The more information they have, the smoother the transition will be. This will also allow the school to place the child in the appropriate classes and have the right resources for the child.

Thank you for all you do for all of our kids –    Jason Cecil, Director of Regional Recruitment

Courtesy – Dr. John DeGarmo

Kansas NewsMichael and Glenda Schreiber have been licensed foster parents for 10 years. They have adopted 3 children and currently have 3 foster children all under the age of 12. Michael is an over the road truck driver so Glenda maintains the house and the kids all week by herself while working 2 jobs.

She does an amazing job of balancing work, kids, daycare, appointments, school functions and visits between kids and their parents.  Michael and Glenda provide consistency and structure for all the kids and work with biological parents when possible, keeping that communication open and positive.

Michael and Glenda work hard at setting good examples for the kids and are a great example of what a foster parent should be. They are very caring and giving and treat all children the same.  Michael and Glenda are wonderful to work with and even in their busy scheduled take time out to help others.

Thank you Michael and Glenda for the time you put into helping children and making sure they are safe and that they feel they belong somewhere and have hope for a positive future.

Peggy Stunkel
FCW

Between Families Recruitment Moment

TFI is partnering with the Wichita Wingnuts for their second annual Community Benefits Concert which will be held on Saturday, April 22^nd, 2017 at Lawrence-Dumont Stadium.  This year’s concert will feature 2 of the hottest acts in country music, Billy Currington & Chris Janson plus 3 local acts TBD. Tickets for the event are $40.  TFI will be selling 100 tickets for the event and 50% of the proceeds will go towards our organization.
Additionally, the partnership with the Wingnuts will allow us to have a special game night at Lawrence-Dumont Stadium on Wednesday, July 12^th, 2017 dedicated to TFI.   Tickets to the game will cost $10 and TFI will keep 100% of the proceeds.  This experience includes; booth space on the concourse, first pitch, and name recognition throughout the night.  This is a great opportunity for TFI to get our name out there and raise awareness about the need for more foster parents.
If you are interested in attending or promoting either of these events please e-mail Ali Ardery at aardery@tfifamily.org or call 913-375-4888 to reserve your tickets!  Tickets to the Community Benefit Concert can also be purchased through the TFI website www.tfifamily.org

Oklahoma News

FREE ENVOLVE ONLINE TRAINING SCHEDULE
January-March 2017
(Trainings listed are offered at 10am or 6pm)Successfully Working with Birth Families –  (2 hours)
Goals/Objectives: After completing this training participants will be able to:

• Identify how perception can have negative and positive impacts on relationships with birth parents
• List 4 Types of permanence in foster care and the impact on the child
• Discuss the importance of communication in the foster parent/birth parent relationship
• Identify how Fostering Triangles impact communication within the foster/adoptive system
• Identify ways to build and maintain relationships with birth parents
• Understand what it means to be a mentor parent and the skills birth parents may need to be mentored in

1/18 and 2/22 @ 10am or 6pm
Human Trafficking – (2 hours)
Goals/Objectives: After completing this training participants will be able to:

• Define human trafficking and examine its dynamics
• Understand why children involved in child welfare are at greater risk for trafficking
• Identify the warning signs
• Identify best practices regarding: assessment, treatment, and providing services

1/9 and 1/23 @10am or 6pm
Childhood Traumatic Grief (1.5 hours)
Goals/Objectives: After completing this training participants will be able to:

• Identify the signs and symptoms of traumatic grief verses normal grief
• Understand the impact of childhood traumatic grief
• Identify strategies that can help your child work through traumatic grief

– 1/11 and 1/25 @10am or 6pm
Understanding Sexual Behavior in Children (1 to 1.5 hours)
Goals/Objectives: After completing this training participants will be able to:

• Describe types of harmful contact and non-contact child sexual abuse
• Identify signs that are typical of younger children who have been sexually abused
• Identify signs typical of a teenager who has been sexually abused
• Describe steps to take to create a family safety plan

 – 2/7 and 2/15 @ 10am or 6pm
Promoting Placement Stability (2 hours)
Goals/Objectives: After completing this training participants will be able to:

• Identify how to best reduce placement disruptions and increase placement stability
• Identify the three sources of instability
• Understand the impact of multiple moves on children
• Identify specific reactions to trauma that impact behavior

– 2/8 and 2/13 @ 10am or 6pm
Trauma Informed Care (3 part series; 3 hours each offered at 10am or 6pm)
·         March 1 – part 1
Part I   Caregiver Training (3 hours)
Goals/Objectives: After completing this training participants will be able to:

• Understand how trauma impacts a child’s behavior, feelings, relationships, and view of world
• List the impact trauma has on child’s physical and brain development, as well as in their ability to learn
• Discuss impact of child’s trauma has on caregivers and signs of compassion fatigue
• Discuss ways to help children manage trauma at home through creating safety, learning to manage emotions and behaviors

·         March 7 – part 2
Part II  Caregiver: Intro to Trauma Informed Parenting (3 hours)
Goals/Objectives: After completing this training participants will be able to:

• Identify benefits of trauma-informed parenting practices
• Describe how long-term trauma can interfere with child’s development, behavior, and relationships
• Define and give examples of trauma reminders and possible reactions
• Identify factors that increase resilience in children who have been traumatized
• Describe the “invisible suitcase” and how to help a child to “re-pack” their suitcase

·         March 14 – part 3
Part III Caregiver: Advanced Trauma Informed Parenting (3 hours)
Goals/Objectives: After completing this training participants will be able to:

• Describe ways to help promote the child’s sense of safety
• Describe ways to be an “Emotional Container” for a child in their care
• Identify and describe ways to manage potential emotional “hot spots”
• Identify ways to encourage positive behaviors and support the child’s strengths and interests
• Identify 3 examples of important connections in a child’s life and ways in which one can support and maintain those connections

Providing Culturally Affirming Care –  (2 to 2.5 hours)
Goals/Objectives: After completing this training participants will be able to:

• Define Culture and identify cultural errors
• Identify Youth Culture
• Understand identity development in foster youth
• Understand the cultural needs of undocumented children in foster care
• Identify strategies for caregivers to help children in care improve cultural connections

3/8 and 3/15 @10am or 6pm
Providing Service to LGBTQ – 3 Hours
Goals/Objectives: After completing this training participants will be able to:

• Identify how to appropriately discuss sexual orientation and gender identity
• Gain insight and understanding regarding the experiences of LGBT youth in general and in foster care
• Better understand how to address the needs of LGBT youth in care

3/20 and 3/27 @ 10am or 6pm
Coping with Trauma Reminders – (3 hours)
Goals/Objectives: After completing this training participants will be able to:

• Identify factors that impact resiliency
• Identify the human adaptive process and how it impacts resilience
• List steps to build resilience in times of and after trauma
• List 12 steps of successful survivors of trauma

3/22 and 3/29 @ 10am and 6pm
Brandon and Kassandra Raleigh have been with TFI since 2014. Since that time they have taken placement of 9 children. The Raleigh’s have never had a disruption and the only 3 children who have ever left their home left for kinship placement, placement closer to home, and reunification. The Raleigh’s have been fostering a sibling set of 3  for over a year as well as another sibling set of 3 for almost a year and on 12-22-16 the Raleigh’s became a forever family for all 6 children. They have maintained a wonderful relationship with the father of one of the sibling sets, he drives from Texas to the home for visits in the Raleigh home. He brought Christmas to his children and the Raleigh’s invited him on their minivacation to OKC where he got to spend the day with his children at the Science Museum. The Raleigh’s also maintain a wonderful relationship with the mother of their only daughter, the mother calls Ms. Raleigh on a regular basis to check on her daughter and the Raleigh’s have attended church with her every Sunday for the past 6 months and going out to eat lunch with her every other Sunday. These biological parents know the Raleigh’s have nothing, but the greatest hearts with the purest intentions of loving these children forever and giving them a safe and stable home. One of the parents was big enough to recognize that although he lives his son’s with all his heart,  he could not provide this for his children and the other parent was big enough to recognize that she took an extensive amount of time to get herself together and that her daughter had settled in very well with the Raleigh’s. While reassuring her daughter that she would not be mad or upset with her she allowed her daughter to make her own decision in regards to being adopted and honored her wishes with the upmost respect. If Ms. Raleigh had her way she would take 6 more.

Nebraska News

DHHS developed a protocol for medication when children need medication when they are not in your home. Please review this information and contact you Foster Care Worker if you have questions or concerns.

Child Medication Transfer Protocol

When a child is transported from one location to another, medications currently prescribed to the child shall be transferred safely and securely. All medications shall be transported to their point of destination (new foster home, respite home, school, visitation, or other normal childhood activities) in the original prescription bottle or water proof container that is clearly marked with the name of child and the name of the medication. The protocols below shall be used in the following situations where medications may be transferred:

a.       Change in placement – All medications shall be transported by an adult and shall pass from the transporting adult to the receiving adult upon arrival of destination.

b.      Respite – When a child goes to a respite placement, only enough prescribed medication dosage shall be sent for the duration of the respite stay. Medication(s) shall be maintained in accordance with the respite plan established by the foster parent, Foster Care Agency, and case manager. Medication(s) shall be administered in accordance with the prescription.

c.       School – Medication(s) that are taken by children while at school shall be provided to the school nurse either by a foster parent, or the child. If a child is in foster care or group home care setting, a foster care or group home representative may request a copy of the child’s school medication log from the school.

d.      Visitation – When the child is on a visitation, only enough prescribed medication dosage shall be sent for the duration of the visit. Medication(s) shall be maintained and administered in accordance with the Visitation Plan established by the case manager. The Visitation Plan shall include a detailed description of the adult(s) the medications will be transferred to and who will dispense medications.

e.      Other Normal Childhood Activities – When a child is participating in normal childhood activities, only enough prescribed medication dosage shall be sent for the duration of the activity.

Medication(s) shall be maintained and administered in accordance with a plan established by the case manager. The plan shall include a detailed description of the adult(s) the medications will be transferred to and who will dispense medications. Normal childhood activities shall be defined as any activities indicated in the Reasonable and Prudent Parenting Standard [42 U. S. C. A §675 (11) (A)]

Texas News

Preventing Peer-to-Peer Abuse training is no longer required for perspective foster parents in region 3b.  If you were licensed before or in 2016, the training is still required.

DFPS now requires a new training for all foster parents and staff – this training is called Normalcy.  This will be a 2-hour training for all foster parents.  If you are already verified this training must be completed by June 30, 2017.  Youth in DFPS care have the right to participate in age appropriate activities, responsibilities, and life skills.  You will understand the need to support a normal living environment for children in out of home care.

15 Years

Patricia Dickerson

5 Years

Grants

TFI has the following grant funding available to assist foster children and foster families. Please speak with your foster care worker for more information:

Derby Community Foundation: gift cards to assist foster youth placed in our Derby, KS foster care homes with basic care items
Pritchett Trust: Funds available to foster children placed in Crawford County, KS for the purchase of musical instruments and music lessons.

Funds for clothing for Oklahoma foster youth placed in Comanche, Cotton, Jackson, Jefferson, Stephens and Tillman County.

By Mayo Clinic staff
Do you find yourself fuming when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure go through the roof when your child refuses to cooperate? Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it’s important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.No. 1: Take a timeout
Counting to 10 isn’t just for kids. Before reacting to a tense situation, take a few moments to breathe deeply and count to 10. Slowing down can help defuse your temper. If necessary, take a break from the person or situation until your frustration subsides a bit.No. 2: Once you’re calm, express your anger
As soon as you’re thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.No. 3: Get some exercise
Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you’re about to erupt. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other favorite physical activities. Physical activity stimulates various brain chemicals that can leave you feeling happier and more relaxed than you were before you worked out.

No. 4: Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

No. 5: Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child’s messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything, and might only make it worse.
continued:

Anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper
No. 6: Stick with ‘I’ statements

To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use “I” statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, “I’m upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes,” instead of, “You never do any housework.”

No. 7: Don’t hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times.

No. 8: Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Don’t use sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

No. 9: Practice relaxation skills
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, “Take it easy.” You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

No. 10: Know when to seek help
Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you. You might explore local anger management classes or anger management counseling. With professional help, you can:

• Learn what anger is
• Identify what triggers your anger
• Recognize signs that you’re becoming angry
• Learn to respond to frustration and anger in a controlled, healthy way
• Explore underlying feelings, such as sadness or depression

Anger management classes and counseling can be done individually, with your partner or other family members, or in a group. Request a referral from your doctor to a counselor specializing in anger management, or ask family members, friends or other contacts for recommendations. Your health insurer, employee assistance program (EAP), clergy, or state or local agencies also might offer recommendations.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/anger-management/MH00102/NSECTIONGROUP=2

Quiz

1. ___________________ takes a toll on both your health and your relationships.
2. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions.  TRUE of FALSE
3. What are some examples of practicing relaxation skills?
4. Anger management classes must be done by yourself?  TRUE of FALSE
5. Use I statement to avoid ______________
   1. Talking
   2. Listening
   3. Placing Blame
   4. Laughing

6. You should use sarcasm to release tension. TRUE of FALSE
7. Anger management classes can help you ___________________________________________, _____________________________________, ________________________________________, _____________________________________, ________________________________________.